The Cretins

Seattle's Misfit Motorcycle Club Refuses To Grow Up

cretin: /kret'in/ or /kree'tn/ n.

Cretinism, deficiency disease caused by congenital absence of thyroxine, a hormone secreted by the thyroid gland, and characterized by defective mental and physical development . Their limbs are distorted, their features are coarse, and their hair is harsh and scanty. Mental development is retarded throughout life. An adult cretin may reach the intelligence of only a four-year-old child.

The History:

The Cretins MC (est. 1992) formed simultaneously in Seattle and San Francisco by six friends.  While a pox of bike towings, accidents and high rent folded the Frisco chapter, the Seattle chapter flourished under the guidance of Cretin #1, Todd "T-Bird" Werny.  Today there are over two dozen riders, a chapter in LA, and solo members in NYC, Austin and Maui, HI.

The Cretin Philosophy:

We strive to interact with motorcyclists who focus on vintage, cafe, and "streetfighter" bikes. A club of misfits of the motorcycle world, the Cretins MC brings these elements together providing a unified entity for this overlooked/under appreciated segment of motorcycling.  The Cretin aesthetic loosely resembles the bygone days of the British Rocker clubs.  We are by no means an "Outlaw Club"...just a fun lovin' bunch with a pint of Rainier and a 10mm wrench if you need it.

The Bikes:

The lineup of Cretin bikes is quite diverse. Currently, we have a couple CB450 Black Bombers, an old Guzzi police special, various '60's & 70's Honda Twins &Fours, BMW /5's, a tricked out Yamaha RD350,  and a few newer bikes (Ducatis, Buells, Speed Triples) to round out the herd.  The Cretins are dedicated to keeping old bikes on the road and helping others do the same!

The Nicknames:

It can be difficult for a prospective Cretin to remember all of the others' names, so we come up with "handles"—something colorful that sticks. Furthermore, as any motorcycle enthusiast knows, old bikes have a personality all their own, which warrants further name games for our rides, e.g. "Myrtle", "Wasp's Nest", "Lurch", "the Sand Flea".

Cretin Activities:

We meet every Thursday to have pint or two, swap parts, plan rides, BBQ's and such.  Not surprisingly, many of the members are also active in the local music scene. We often combine our efforts/talents to put on "Cretin Bash" shows designed to bring the motorcycle community out in force.

Last year we planned a big benefit show which raised almost $1000 for Home Alive, a local charity which teaches self-defense techniques to women—a pursuit we hope to reprise in the Fall of 2001.

Information/Contact

For information more about the club, or to find out where we are meeting next, you can write to us at: cretinsmc@cretins.org .  Visit the website at www.cretins.org.